Of Smart Cars and Sasquatches
by BaldiDaughterChevy
Summary: The Impala is in the shop and Sam makes a poor rental-car decision. Brotherly fluff and banter.


**Lighthearted fluff.**

 **This is just a silly drabble I wrote. I couldn't get this picture of Sam and Dean smashed into a smart car out of my head so I wrote it and then the rest of the scene just became kind of filler.**

 **Rated T for swearing because Dean curses a lot. And I love him for it.**

"You know it was just an accident."

Dean glances over to Sam with eyes that burn like demon-fire and then snickers at the sight of his little brother crammed into the driver's seat. He's got the damn thing adjusted back as far as it will go and he keeps trying to get it to go back a millimeter more. He's pressing the button on the side over and over again, but it's just whirring impotently and Sam's knees are jammed up alongside the steering wheel while he hunches over and tries not to lose all blood-flow to his extremities.

Dean's not much better off, but at least he's not quite as cramped as his pathetic, Sasquatch of a sibling.

"Sammy, you know hitting that fucking deer might have been an accident, but renting this..." Dean gestures weakly "...this...motorized skateboard, that was a choice."

"Excuse me for caring about the environment, Dean. I thought we could make up for driving that guzzling gas hog all the time and Smart Cars have a significantly smaller carbon footprint..."

"In the first place, Sam," Dean interrupts "you say my beautiful baby is a 'hog' ever again and I'll run you over with this plastic death trap that I hesitate to call a car-not that it would do ya much damage-and in the second place how did you even think you were gonna fit inside this thing?"

"Well ya know, I thought maybe you'd drive- _since you always drive_." Sam scowls.

"Ha! No. Fucking. Way. I wouldn't drive this goddamn lawnmower if the world depended on it. Someone might see me."

"Well that's great. This is really comfortable for me." Sam is trying to reposition his legs and still push the gas pedal and he's pouting like a kid.

Dean's looks at Sam again and rolls his eyes. "You made this choice. You rented this kumquat. I don't feel bad for you. I just hope we don't hit any more animals, in this car we'd be crushed to death by a large rabbit."

"Hey..." Dean says after a few minutes "how did you manage to fit all the weapons and ammo in the back of this thing? The trunk isn't big enough to hold it all, is it?"

"How did _I_? What do you mean?" Sam asks " _You_ transferred the stuff."

"No, Sam. I went to the bathroom at the garage and you said you were gonna take everything out and put it in the duffel bag and you'd transfer it when we got to the rental place."

"I said I'd put it in the bag, Dean but you were supposed to pick it up and take it with us when we took the shuttle to go rent this car." Sam looks at Dean. "You didn't get it?"

" _You_ didn't get it?" Dean snaps.

...there's a long silence.

"Uh-oh." Says Sam and he spins the dinky car around in tight u-turn back to the garage.

A few minutes later the boys come screeching into the parking lot.

Dean gets out with some, mild difficulty and then waits for Sam who's trying to contort his way out of the driver's seat.

He leans down, looking through the window and hides a smile behind his hand.

"You alright there, Sammy?"

"Oooff." Sam replies as he twists into a pretzel and gets one leg over the steering wheel.

"Don't do damage to any major muscle groups, dude." Dean's cracking up.

"You can shut the hell up, Dean." Says Sam, but it sounds a little muffled as all six feet of moose maneuvers into an impossible shape. There's a moment of tense silence as Sam pushes hard, stretching and groaning, then he muscles his body through the door and Dean swears he hears something pop.

"Hey, Sammy. Remember that time we saw a cow giving birth?" Sam stalks towards the garage, ignoring his brother. "Yeah, I don't know why, but something is making me think of that right now..."

Dean is still laughing and muttering about karma being a bitch as they walk in the door of the body shop.

"Back already, boys?"

The mechanic at the front desk gives them a sly look when they walk in and he leans over the counter with a grin.

"What can I do for ya?"

"I think we left something here...Jim" says Sam reading the guy's name-tag "a black, duffel bag about this big" Sam holds out his hands to estimate the size.

Jim nods "maybe I seen it, maybe I ain't...how much is it worth to ya?"

"Excuse me?" Sam says, raising an eyebrow, "are you trying to hold our stuff for ransom?"

Dean is standing by the window, looking mournfully out at the Impala with an expression like a worried parent with a hospitalized child but his head whips around as he overhears the conversation going on behind him.

He stalks up the counter and shoots the sleazy mechanic a dangerous look.

"Hey, buddy," he says "why don't you take a look at what's inside that bag before you decide to blackmail me and my brother?"

Sam nods slowly."Yeah, Jim. Take a look."

'Jim' laughs nervously, glancing between the two brothers. "Alright, then. Whatever."

He reaches behind the counter, picks up the heavy bag and unzips it, staring mockingly at Sam and Dean while he does.

"Look inside, Jim." Dean nods down at the open bag and Jim's eyes slowly travel down to the huge pile of weapons; sawed-off, hunting knives, rifles, pistols, machete, hand-saw, flamethrower, boxes of ammo and grenades and countless other weapons and the blood-drips from his cheeks down to his toes.

"Care to rephrase that, Jim?" Sam smirks.

"Who are you guys?" the man stutters.

"Sam and Dean Winchester, bitch." Dean winks, then he reaches across the counter and grabs the terrified guy by his collar. "And if you put a single scratch on my baby out there, I'll hunt you down and find a way to use everything in there on your sorry ass."

"Thanks, Jim" says Sam as Dean lets him go and he stumbles back, practically falling over. "We'll take our bag."

~end

 **There ya go! With a dash of sexy Sam and Dean threatening that sleaze-bag of a shop owner.**

 **I hope you liked it! I don't write humor that often so I don't know if I nailed this or not. Let me know in a review! :)**


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